Yes I'm really home!

Many of you may have wondered if I actually made it back or if I was taken hostage and was being held at gunpoint, but I am happy to report none of the like has happened. I have been held hostage, but only by my own crazy summer schedule. Alas, I digress...

I wanted to "end " this blog on a brief recap of my experiences while in Thailand and what all God did through me and to me. This truly is the brief part, I have a 40 page journal that if anyone is interested in reading, you may contact me.

Two years ago I was exactly where many of you are...knowing the Great Commission, knowing He told us to go, but being scared out of my beejeebee's to actually do it. In my mind, going on a mission trip was either going to some place like Africa and living in a hut for two weeks eating who knows what and simply going up to people and telling them about Jesus OR going just because I felt pressured into it OR going because it "sounded like fun." However, last year when I turned 40 I wanted to do something significant at at our Global Missions Banquet I got one of my first taps on the shoulder from God that it was time to step up and accept the challenge, knowing He would be with me. I didn't know what that meant, but I was open and willing to do whatever He wanted me to do.

Many different things happened over the course of the next few months and at our "You're a Doll" banquet last year when we collected scrapbook supplies for a "mission trip" it smacked me right in the face...Hello! Scrapbooking! Mission Trip! This was something I could do! I didn't know any details of the trip except that it was scrapbooking and Thailand, but I knew He wanted me to go. Well, long story short (if that is possible with me!) because I was faithful despite the many roadblocks Satan threw in my way, my life will never be the same. I want to take a few minutes here to share some of the experiences I had.

The first one was Easter morning in Singapore. The host church had set up a huge tent on the beach and it was full and overflowing. I believe there were two churches that went in together for this, but it was open to whoever was walking by. It was a two-language service, done in English and Mandarin Chinese. The worship -- singing, praying, dancing, etc -- lasted about an hour and it was just amazing! There were no time limits or constraints or lunch plans to worry about and it just felt so free! God was so present there! (Not that He can't be in the time limits and constraints too....) I was really struggling again with so many things ~ my weight, outward appearances, worthiness on the trip so far, pressure of what kind of pictures to take when I just wanted to worship, etc. But God met me there -- I got on my hands and face in the sand and just prayed and prayed and prayed to be free ~ to be released from all of it. I just cannot even describe what it was like ~ so surreal! When I felt like I had prayed enough, I got up and stood for a while, then went back to my chair. All this time people were singing, dancing, music playing, etc. Not five minutes later Angela came up to me and put her arm around me and said (with strong conviction) "You are stunning! You are so beautiful to God!" Wow! Here I am struggling with those very issues and she comes up to me and tells me that! So powerful...I have never experienced something like that before.

The next amazing thing God did happened on Wednesday after our one-day event in Thailand. We also did a scrapbook workshop there with many non-English speaking ladies. I was nervous as a dog about it, but God just so provided so many things in that 90 minutes I almost had to laugh my head off. After the session was over it was quite funny because all the girls who did the scrapbook session were jabbering to the others and showing off their layouts. Everyone was like, "Wow, Melissa, it looks like your session was a big hit...it was the bomb!..." etc. That is totally opposite of how I was feeling, because I struggled so with "But we didn't event talk about Jesus. How could my little scrapbook thing be pleasing to God?" So I went to the bathroom and all these destructive thoughts were just pouring into my head. Well, I just remembered what David had shared that morning in team devotions and I said, "NO! I am a DAUGHTER OF THE KING!" And it was so freeing to not feel bad about not talking about Jesus or any other "religious" thing I thought I should be doing! They just needed the fun part too!

We had three different events over the course of the two weeks, but the "big one" was a 3 day event for missionary women and it was such an incredible experience that I am not sure I may ever have words for. During that event Mendy and I held a workshop on scrapbooking and those ladies just ate it up. They never, never, never get to just hang out and scrapbook and they had the time of their lives for that short hour and a half. None of them wanted to leave when it was over. They got to visit with other ladies, get a few pages done in a little book we had put together for them, and got tons and tons of free stuff. Over and over I heard, "I can keep this? I can keep this? You'll really give this to me? This is just like Christmas morning!" It just thrilled my heart to be able to do that for them. They are the ones out in the field and to think that I could do one small thing to make them happy just overwhelmed me.

After the evening session on Friday, we had a Hospitality Room where the ladies could come for snacks and more talking with each other. We purposely bought snacks that they rarely would, things like cookies, chips, Goldfish, Cheetos, dip, granola bars, soda, etc. When they came down and saw all that spread they nearly fainted. One lady I overheard said, "My child would die if he knew I had a Cheetos in my hand." POW! That really knocked me between the eyes. Yes, we don't eat Cheetos all that often, but when they are on sale at Kroger I don't mind buying them because they are cheap. I will never be able to eat Cheetos again for a long, long time. The Goldfish were also a big hit, but ladies sneaking some back for their kids! And we get them for $1 a bag! My heart was just breaking for these ladies and their families. It made me want to get all their addresses and mail them some every month! I mean, here I am in my comfy Spring Hill address, able to worship freely without fear, buy most everything I want, wash my clothes and dishes in machines, and buy Cheetos and Goldfish without even thinking about it! Here they are, following the Lord's commands, making sacrifices at every turn, and they can't even get Cheetos? It was huge to me to chew on that, no pun intended!

But, as many of you know, and have often heard, going on a mission trip is not just about what you do for Jesus, but also what He does for you. Sometimes I wonder if I even did anything for Him while there and I truly think the whole reason I went was because of what He needed to do to me. During the course of the trip I learned so many lessons, so many truths, was stretched way out of my comfort zone, and took a huge step to being freed from a stronghold that has held me for over 20 years! That alone was worth every penny I spent and every grief I endured to go. I truly, truly was changed forever from one mission trip and now I can't wait to go on another one, to see what else God has for me!